ReWire

This is a practice I have integrated from several masters and sources including Tara Brach’s RAIN practice, Rick Hanson’s Hardwiring Happiness practice and ACA (Adult children of Alcoholics) Reparenting guide.

While it may seem like an extensive practice it’s perfectly ok, in fact recommended to work with pieces of it at first. This builds mastery, confidence, resilience and helps you heal. Trainings one and one and group are available for those clients who just want to masters this tool without doing therapy.

This is an ongoing practice to reWire your Brain to focus on that which brings you more joy, satisfaction, safety and connection.

Why is this needed – Our survival system has developed to focus and ruminate on bad things then share this with our tribe.  This helps spread knowledge and awareness of known dangers and keep us safe. But we go on doing this long after the danger has passed. This habit of dwelling on the bad keeps us stuck in a trauma response and often hyper vigilant. This habit makes experiencing satisfaction, safety/relaxation and thriving very challenging. (Hardwiring Happiness)

The Practice

When you have an upsetting event, thought or feeling do this to help you feel better in the moment and heal yourself. Your motivation for helpful practices is strongest when in pain and most useful right when it is happening. This is a powerful antidote. Like aspirin when you have a headache.

  1. Journal it – 
    1. How did it start? How is it maintained? What is the story you tell yourself? What does it cost you? How do you feel?
    2. save problem solving or perspective building for the compassionate response.
    3. Edit your words and be sure it expresses your emotions and flows.
    4. Read it out loud, then sit and feel it for two minutes while looking at what you read.
    5. Why do this?– We use this practice as an antidote for difficult experiences, thoughts or feelings. Motivation is strongest when we suffer.
      1. Key points referenced: Pulling weeds planting flowers, 90 minute window of memory reconsolidation, building distress tolerance, light anxiety exposure with better outcomes leads to feeling more capable and learning, neurons that fire together wire together. (Hardwiring Happiness) (ERP – Exposure Response Prevention)
        (When Panic Attacks – David Burns)
  2. Compassionate Response – Write a response to yourself as a loving parent, best friend, and supportive coach might. (Mindful Self-Compassion, Chris Germer Kristin Neff)
    1. Start off response with Dear James, I’m so sorry (use 3rd person narrative to build inner nurturer)
    2. Use two sided messages acknowledging the challenge and potential for success.
    3. Allow yourself to write a behavioral or thought prescription 
    4. “James Says” – allow ourself to quote inspiring advice or suggestions
    5. “I hope James is right” – Allow yourself to voice your doubts and concerns
    6. Be sure to include validation and support
    7. “You got this, You deserve this.” Use supporting encouraging language
    8. Reframe any upsetting thoughts that feel important to you.
    9. Read it out loud, then sit and feel it for two minutes while looking at what you read.
    10. Why do this? We need to build an inner nurturer and disarm the critic emancipating ourselves from the mental slavery of false beliefs that are ego dystonic or don’t resonate with us.
  3. Break – 10-15 minutes. 
    1. Get into your body, ground yourself in your senses and environment. For Example, take a walk, paint, cook, eat, dance, play music.
    2. During this time don’t dwell on any bad thoughts or feelings related to the issue you are working on. (Chp 8, Hardwiring Happiness)
    3. Why do this? You need to reset. This helps with concentration, mindfulness, and reshaping automatic responses.
  4. Hardwiring Happiness – pick a practice from the index of guided practices (p. 265,266).
    1. Do the practice deeply writing down the specific concrete examples that you focus on. 
    2. Spend 10-15 minutes in practice
    3. Take long deep diaphragmatic breaths, twice as long on the exhale than inhale as you are doing these practices.
    4. Customize the exercises to speak to your experience, and to be novel or new and fresh. (Chp 7, Hardwiring Happiness)

5) Break – 10-15 minutes. (Follow Step 3)

6) Hardwiring, Tonglen, Shamatha, Vipassana, chanting (Om Mani Padme Hung), Breath that breathes itself or reading inspiring poetry.

7) Repeat steps 5 & 6

  1. Notes
    1. A Tonglen practice can be found in the book The Places that Scare you. It is a practice of self compassion and then compassion for others.
    2. Shamatha and Vipassana are forms of meditation that utilize a concentration focus. This helps stabilize the mind and deepen these practices.
    3. The Breath that breathes itself is a practice of building a very slow and deep breath approximately 2 breaths per minute. This really activates the parasympathetic nervous system or relaxation response.
    4. ERP – Exposure Response Prevention. By lightly experiencing anxious situations and having a more positive outcome we can learn to be more resourced and relaxed in challenging situations.
    5. Poetry Selections – Mary Oliver – Wilde Geese, Rumi -The Guest House,

2) References

Mindful Self-Compassion, by Chris Germer and Kristin Neff – 

https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

Hardwiring Happiness by Dr. Rick Hanson

Resilient – by Dr. Rick Hanson with Forest Hanson

The Places That Scare You, by Pema Chodron

How To Meditate, by Pema Chodron

How to Practice Shamatha Meditation:  TheCultivation of Meditative Quiescence, by Gen Lamrimpa and B. Alan Wallace 

Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with Practice of RAIN by Tara Brach 

When Panic Attacks and Feeling Great by Dr David Burns. (DML, Self Defeating Beliefs, Feared Fantasy, Externalization of Voices)