Self Love is a foundational key to healing. In order to invest in the work to transform our inner and outer lives, we need to want to have a rich and joyful life. Ideally, this life brings us feelings of Safety, Satisfaction and Connection. Often times when people identify the goals they have they focus on external things such as a house, a job, a partner. Looking deeper we can identify the internal states and traits we are trying to achieve. So a house may bring us a feeling of satisfaction and safety and partner may bring us feelings of connection.
In order to develop the inner states necessary to thrive we need to have self-love or develop an inner nurturer. This is a part of ourselves that is kind, encouraging and loving. Think of a combination of a supportive coach, loving parent and best friend. Learning to encourage, motivate and talk to ourselves in this way is foreign to many of us.
We need a guide and opportunities to practice this internal nurturer. After which we are more drawn to experiences and people that support the life we want to live. If we can reduce our emotional reactivity we start having more successful interactions with people, life and work. This creates the necessary experience of a corrective action.
Once we have this corrective experience we need to encode it into our minds, deeply with feelings of gratitude and joy. Then we can move these fleeting experiences to deeper internal traits.
This methodology is laid out in Rick Hansons Book Hardwiring Happiness which is a cornerstone of our practice at Lions Heart. The book discusses the problem in the first three chapters and these methods in great detail thereafter. Chapter 10 lays out about 15 practices to help develop these internal states that cultivate safety, satisfaction and connection.
There are many other methods for cultivating inner love such as mindful self compassion. Both Chris Germer and Kristin Neff are pioneers in this field and offer many free guided meditations on their websites.
Teaching and coaching you to develop these inner resources and outer practices is a foundational key to helping reduce emotional reactivity. With reduced reactivity we feel better and more relaxed with life. As a result, we can be more masterful with our choices, learn better from our experiences and engage more successfully with people and opportunities that bring us safety, satisfaction and connection.
At Lions Heart, we endeavor to create a warm and welcoming environment where you can learn and practice new skills. You will find that our approach is practical, logical and heartfelt. Helping you achieve a more rewarding and joyful life is our goal.
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Having a helper in the office can be a real support. Titan has been with me for 11 years and brings warmth, compassion and understanding to us all. He also reminds us of the nature of life and trauma. He is a rescue and has been with me since he was 6 months old and removed from a challenging home environment where he was neglected and unwanted. A reminder that compassion, understanding and hope is always available to us it just requires we meet the right people.
These days Titan is a little slower but always ready with a concerned look and ready for a pet.
